Getting to Yes by Roger Fishers Review and Summary: how to negotiate properly to reach a win-win solution.

Negotiation is not looking for who wins but looking for mutually beneficial conditions. This time I will discuss Roger Fisher's Getting to Yes book. This book discusses how to negotiate properly so that you can reach a win-win solution.

Everyone in their life must have negotiated, whether it's negotiating salaries, negotiating prices in the market, deciding where to have dinner with the partner, and so on. Simply put, negotiation is the basic way to get what you want. This communication goes back and forth in both directions, aiming to reach an agreement on whether you and others have the same interests. However, it needs to be understood, negotiation does not mean that one party must gain and the other must lose. However, the negotiations should be able to help both parties profit and get what they want. The method is not difficult. The two of you just need to listen to each other, treat others fairly, and together be willing to seek agreements.

I summarize it into three important points from this book:

First, Common mistakes in negotiating.

Never bid based on position. This is a common mistake when negotiating. If everyone had taken a position and argued based on that, it would be very difficult to reach an agreement. For example, when there are conflicting interests, each of them has taken a position, whether they are pro or contra. If that is the case, the negotiation is no longer aimed at finding a midpoint or a win-win solution, but each of them is already busy maintaining their position and feels that they are right. This is what makes a negotiation very lengthy and inefficient. In this case, usually bidding based on position will be the battle for who is the right one. As a result, the losing party will feel angry and resentful because their interests are not accommodated. This is what we should avoid in negotiating because hurt feelings are difficult to heal. In the future, if there are other interests they want to negotiate with the same party, it will be even more difficult because they have been hurt before and in other interests, they will try harder to prove themselves the most correct. 

This is what makes people realize that the old negotiation style is no longer suitable, but the negotiation style that should be carried out is soft bargaining. It is a type of negotiation where we see the opposing parties not as enemies but as friends. We also have to have a mindset that the main purpose of negotiations is to build and maintain relationships, not just victory. The main principle in negotiating is that we must separate people from the differences at hand.

Most people are accustomed to being too attached to the interests they carry and their positions. Simply put, we don't get too sentimental during negotiations. So, when other people are in opposition, they consider these differences to attack themselves personally, even though only their interests are different. We need to understand that the interests we represent do not reflect ourselves as a whole. When we can distinguish between the interests we face and that person, then this will allow us to negotiate without hurting other people personally. It also helps both parties see a problem more clearly.

Second, Creating options for win-win solutions.

In negotiations, there are several obstacles that you might experience when trying to find a solution to the problem at hand. Roger divides it into 4 general obstacles. Both parties were too quick to determine solution options without considering the other options. Or both parties try to narrow down the options they have so they can focus on one answer. Another obstacle, maybe one party thinks the option of the negotiation is a win-lose situation, they assume the only option available is that one party wins and the other party loses. Or finally, one party expects the other party to take the initiative to find a solution to the problem at hand. This general obstacle usually occurs in a negotiation, so that the outcome of the negotiation may not be optimal and harm each party. There is another, better way. Before we decide on a solution from the carried out negotiations, it is better if we are open to other solution options.

Roger provides some tips for creating a creative solution.

First, separate between creating an idea and deciding on an idea. This is the most crucial stage. During the brainstorming session, don't immediately judge an idea that was put up by each participant. Just let all the ideas be accommodated first.

Second, expanding the solution options rather than finding the one that is the most correct answer. There is an interesting story. Two people had a fight in a library. The first person wanted the window open and the second person wanted it closed. Then came a librarian and she asked why the first person wanted the window open, the first person said that he wanted a breath of fresh air. The librarian then asked the second person, why did he want the window closed, the second said that he wanted to avoid the wind. In this story, the two people see only one option, whether the window is opened or closed. In fact, there are still many other options, for example, the second person can borrow a sweater, open a window in another room, or one of them moves locations, and so on.

Third, look for mutually beneficial conditions. In negotiations, we shouldn't seek a win-lose situation. However, through negotiations, we can get what each party wants.

Fourth, make it easier for the other party to agree. Successful negotiations must, of course, be agreed upon by each party. This is why we must learn to put ourselves in the shoes of others. We must be able to understand what can make it easy for the other party to agree with the suggestions we offer. Through this, negotiations will tend to run more smoothly and be mutually beneficial. 

Third, dealing with difficult negotiations.

Sometimes there are times when we negotiate with parties that are more powerful than us. So, the starting position is out of balance. However, don't be discouraged. Remember that there are two main goals in negotiating: First, you must be able to protect yourself so that you don't agree to an agreement that is detrimental to you. Second, you must be able to come up with an agreement that also accommodates your interests. To achieve this goal, Roger gave us a suggestion, namely BATNA or Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. So this is the best alternative option that we offer to the other party.

Remember, we are negotiating to come up with a better deal than not negotiating at all. However, there are also times when the opposing party becomes very stubborn and does not want to negotiate at all. They stick to their stance. So, in this condition, you can use a third party that acts as an intermediary. Third parties are neutral parties who note the interests of each party and ask them to provide comments on the interests raised by the other parties. This process continues until the end can get the best option or the worst possibility is that the deal is canceled. It is easier for other people to listen to you when they feel understood. Therefore, if you want other people to respect your interests in a negotiation, you must first respect their interests.

Thank you for reading Getting To Yes by Roger Fishers Review and Summary, author hopes that you have a happy day.